With the amount of stress and backbreaking hours that go into being a mom, there's no doubt that it's one of the hardest and most underappreciated jobs in the world. Unlike regular jobs, being a mom never stops, and your messy little bundles of joy are going to be relying on you for at least 18 years and possibly more. It affects your mind, your body, and of course, your sanity. Thankfully French artist (and mom) Nathalie Jomardhas made a series of hilarious comics depicting the honest truth about what goes into motherhood.
1. Feels Like Feeding A Piranha When You Breastfeed
We are pretty sure you still remember how your first breastfeeding session went and felt like. You can even imagine everything when someone would ask you about it. Your first breastfeeding session surely made you doubt if it was your baby sucking out for milk or if it was a piranha trying to chew off your nipple. And at some point, you would even get wounds from breastfeeding.
But it’s okay, right? As long as you were able to keep your baby healthy and you know you were able to feed them the right nutrients they need as newborns and infants, that pain is probably worth it.
2. You Can’t Even Find Comfort In Your Own Bathroom
Ever since you got your mini-me’s, it seems like your “private bathroom” is now just a standard room in your house because you can’t even be alone there since your kids know where to find you when you’re gone and something was up. Or when you plan to leave them for a quick trip to the toilet, they would end up insisting to not leave your side.
But if you were lucky, you might be able to sneak in a short me-time in the bathroom while they are asleep and before they realize you were gone, and you just treasure every second of it.
3. There Is No Such Thing As Sleeping In Anymore
The “early to bed, early to rise” saying is probably just applicable for kids. They sleep early - most of the time - and rise together with the sun.
Even if you plan on probably sleeping in, especially during the weekends, you just can’t do it anymore since the first person your kid would probably rush to when they wake up is you.
4. You Don’t Have To Ask If You Look Fat Because Your Clothes Will Tell You
You used to be so proud of your body because you would surely fit into a lot of beautiful and sexy clothes. And now, after having your kids, you just end up sitting there staring at the remnants of your fun and slender memories back when you could slide easily into your old clothes.
Well, you could still have a chance to fit into them again through exercise but how could you when you can’t even go to the toilet without your kids insisting to be with you wherever you go? So as part of being an employee of Motherhood Inc, your dress code would be anything loose such as pajamas as your everyday clothes.
5. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
We are sure that ever since you experienced your first “public show” thanks to your kid, you learned to always wear a belt or something tight that your kids will not be able to pull down or up so easily.
You also then learned to suck up all your embarrassed self and act as if nothing happened and even pretended that no one saw it even when you know it was quite a show indeed. But you do love your kids too much to even get mad at them for causing such a scene. One for the books!
6. Alone Time With Your Partner... What’s That?
People probably warned you that you won’t be able to have a sexy and alone time with your partner anymore once you have a baby but you thought “Oh, we are sure we could still squeeze some in between.
We just can’t get enough of each other,” and now you look back and realize you regret saying such because you surely jinxed all your chances after saying those. And even if cuddling in your sleep was your only escape for an intimate act, you can’t do that too because your baby would demand to sleep in between the both of you. And once the baby is on your bed, you can’t even get some sleep since they’re taking up all the space.
7. Well If It Works, It Ain’t Stupid
Babyand motherhood books should have a warning that all the advice written in their published work is only effective up to some point. Well, sure there would still be some things that you can apply to your everyday adventures as a mom, however, some books tend to forget that there are different kinds of kids and the way to handle kids is not a “one size fits all” scenario.
So it still ends up as your job as a mom to figure out how to handle your kid on your own without the help of any written and published book or article.
8. Babies Are Indeed The Living Examples Of The Saying “Small But Terrible”
You just never imagined such a small creature can create such a mess in the entire house! And they even make sure that they don’t leave a spot untouched. It even feels as if kids see the world as their personal art workshop that they have to paint and leave their mark on it. And we may be wording it in a cute way right now but we know that when you look back up from your screen, your entire view looks like a battlefield.
But hey, we saw some product that your babies could wear and double as a floor mop! You could let them wear those and help you clean instead!
9. Your Pain Does Not Matter As Long As The Baby Is Happy
Babies know how to amuse themselves and we are sure that you are very much aware of that fact already. And it also seems like that some kids have their mother’s body parts as their favorite toy that they must have to ensure that they are safe or with you.
Maybe your kid puts their fingers up your nostrils until they fall asleep and disregard whether you can breathe or not. Or maybe your kid makes sure that they get to play with your navel while they’re drinking their milk and while you’re putting them to sleep which makes you want to pee.
10. You Don’t Need To Buy Your Baby Expensive Toys, Just Give Them Anything From Your House
Don’t you just hate it when you spend so much money on your baby’s toys, only to find out that they just want to play with anything lying around in your house that they find so interesting?
This is why it is very important to baby-proof your houses before they start crawling and grabbing things at the latest because you might just find your credit card in the toilet that was mixed with other stuff that your kid probably got from wherever.
11. You Can Finally Add This To Your Resume Under Your Skills: Can Carry Tons Of Items All At Once
A lot of people wonder how to have a one trip from your car to the kitchen after a day of grocery shopping and you would just smirk at them because you are clearly confident that you have such skill that others do not have.
You are probably tempted to put in your resume now that you are a professional juggler since you are able to carry a lot of things in just one go - no matter the size or the weight of what you are bringing!
12. Bikinis Are An Instant No-No After Giving Birth
Women wear bikinis to feel confident about their bodies and to empower themselves that is why there are a lot of new moms who wish to brave their suits and strut their bikinis at the beach.
But somehow, you find yourself wondering if you are really ready to go back to wearing your old bikini and then you just get depressed over it and end up wrapping yourself up with a beach towel the whole time.
13. Your Kid’s Potty Training Will Always Be Unpredictable
You know how unpredictable your kids can be and potty training will be included in their list of ways to surprise you - but in the most frustrating ways.
You have probably experienced stepping on your kid’s poop or slipping on their pee because they always miss their potty trainers - or did they?
14. It Is Your Job To Make Sure Your Child Does Not Get Sunburnt
Your babies are your precious gems and you want to make sure that they are always safe and that includes keeping them safe from the sun.
And with this, you make it a point to ensure that when they go out to play under the sun, especially when you are out on a beach trip, sunscreen and rashguard swimsuits for your kids are a must in your beach bag.
15. Meal Time Is One Of The Most Difficult Parts Of Your Day As A Mom
Kids are very unpredictable - even during meals. For some reason, they tend to change what food they want to eat every single day until you run out of ideas on what to feed them! Today, they could be acting as if the certain flavor of their baby food is their favorite, making you feel that you have found what they likeYou and then on the next day, they prove you wrong by spitting the food out and throwing a fit demanding something else!
You Will never understand what they really want, especially because kids are undecisive and they don't even know what they really want.
16. Multitasking Becomes Your Ultimate Super Power
Your kid cries so you go and tend to them, but then your boss rings up your phone so you go and answer it while trying to hush your baby, and suddenly your oven signals that your roasted chicken is done and so you have to rush to it as to not burn it.
Everything just happens all at once and thanks to being a mom, you learned the ultimate super power - multitasking! Not everyone gets to have that skill, you know.
17. Working From Home And Being A Full Time Mom Is Exhausting But It’s Your Daily Routine
You are definitely aware that you have to earn too since you can’t just leave all the financial matters to your husband that is why you result in finding some work from home jobs.
However, you may find your body giving up on most days already but somehow you are still able to make it work - tired, sure - but you still get by. Your body probably got used to it by now.
18. It's Time For You To Practice What You Preach To Be A Role Model To Your Kids
You probably never liked eating greens your whole life that’s why you know how much your kids need such in their system. So all thanks to your kids, you would be forced to eat up the greens you used to avoid to show to your kids that if you could eat it, they could and they should eat their greens too. And you could probably sneak a chug of some soda when they’re not looking after to make sure you get that icky taste out your mouth.
So all thanks to your kids, you would be forced to eat up the greens you used to avoid to show to your kids that if you could eat it, they could and they should eat their greens too. And you could probably sneak a chug of some soda when they’re not looking after to make sure you get that icky taste out your mouth.
19. Your Feet Are Now Probably The Most Difficult Place To Reach For You
After gaining all that weight and body fat, your feet became the most difficult thing to reach for you, despite it being attached to your body. And now, it is so difficult to maintain well-polished toes or even wear your favorite pair of sneakers.
Slip-on shoes or sandals just immediately became your feet’s best friend.
20. You Are In Constant Hide-And-Seek Mode With Your Valuables Thanks To Your Kids
Where was the worst place you found your phone or money or credit card in? We hope that you learned to also keep an emergency fund for your valuables after finding your phones or cards in the sink or down the toilet after your kid decided that you should play hide-and-seek with your items.
You would probably count it as a good or lucky day when you find them in a dry place, no?
21. Baby Books And Books About Motherhood Became Your Best Friends
You were probably never a bookworm during your younger years and while you were enjoying your life as a single and free woman.
But ever since you found out that you were going to be a mom, you just found yourself skimming and reading through every book about babies and motherhood to make sure you would survive being a mom! And yet most of the time, the books turn out to be not much of a help because it looks like your kid surely knows how to make your life more of an adventure on how to handle them.
22. You Feel Bloated Every Single Day
You don’t know why you feel like you gain a pound every single day, but you just do. It could probably be because of too much gas in your body since you don’t get your usual trips to the toilet since your kid has to be constantly around you.
It could also be due to so much stress that you feel so disoriented with yourself. We are not entirely sure why but you surely feel like it, don’t you? Could it also be due to stress eating when your kid finally sleeps plus the lack of exercise?
23. It Is Always Your Job To Bring The Bad News To Your Child About Their Dead Pet
Kids love being close to animals and once they get a pet, they get so attached to it and would find their pets as their entire life. But animals are living things and some just have shorter life spans than most or may even be prone to a lot of sickness despite trying your hardest to keep them safe and healthy for the sake of your kid.
But when their pet dies, you just don’t know how to tell them because you surely do not want to break their hearts and you do not want to see them so heartbroken after.
24. Your Kids Become The Boss Of You
You are supposed to be the mom. You are supposed to be the head of the household while your partner is away. Your kids are supposed to listen to you. But for some reason they know how to make you get down on your knees and just cry out of frustration and exhaustion on handling your kid’s shenanigans!
You could just be lucky if your kid was sympathetic enough to care and comfort you after.
25. $$$ Spent On Countless Books And Tutorials To Find Easier Ways On Changing Your Baby’s Diapers
Changing your baby’s diaper's was probably one of the things you disliked the most and you would have to battle with your partner on whose turn it was to change the diapers. You probably never thought that babies would have the stinkiest poop you would ever smell in your whole life. And you probably never saw the amount of poop that came out of such a tiny body.
Also those random pees your babies would make WHILE you are changing their diapers and they end up laughing because they find the act of peeing on you so funny! That is why you end up buying books or paying for tutorials to make changing their diapers so easy - but they don’t seem to work.
26. Annoying Workouts
Why can't you just let me work out on my own?
Kids will always be annoying and needy, especially when you want to workout on your own They always want to join you and annoy you.
27. Daddy Diaper
The look on that dads face. is priceless. It's funny how dads never get used to changing diapers.
Moms will always get a kick out of watching their husbands change diapers.
28. Careful Momma
Careful mommy, you don't want to wake him up even if your starving to death!
Moms are willing to give up on eating or doing anything that might wake up their baby. 30 minutes of silence, is worth everything.
29. What's This?
Kids will always be curios about everything. Even if it's the yacky stuff you have in your nose.
When he thought she was finally going to fall asleep, she decided to check what's up his nose instead. It's exhausting, trust me.
30. Crazy Love
The love that we have for our kids is unconditional.
For us, they are the most adorable little creatures in the whole wide world.
After having a few kids, moms tend to get flabby bellys, expecially after losing a large amount of weight.
Luckily there are different ways to solve this issue. Plastic surgery for instance, is probably one of the most popular things women do, after pregnancy.
Just before you're about to give birth, you feel like a balloon that is ready to get popped.
You feel so uncomfortable and if your partner just says anything, his dead. So he better shut his mouth and not say a word.
Surprise, I am pregnant again. Oh boy, that look on the dad's face says, I am not having sex ever again!
With three little kids and another one on the way, I would bury myself.
Having a big belly and trying to shave is a pain in the butt.
You can't get anywhere or reach anything.